Lamb Chops With Big Nuts

Have you ever wondered why some farmers aptly name their pet animals after a dish on their plates?  Well, I don't have an answer either ok?  But I can tell you now that is what we used to call our sheep up on our farm in Ohaeawai, NZ.

He was a ram and to us kids he was a grumpy bastard with big nuts that used to hang down past his 'knees'.  Dunno how he managed to run with those a knockin' from side to side... but he could run like the wind if he could smell the scent of fear.  We weren't supposed to get to the cowshed via the main road as we may have been mistaken for road kill from time to time, so we had to cross Lamb Chops paddock to make our way to the haybarn and cowshed.

The paddock was on a little hill and we crossed up the top, having a 'jack' over the old gate making sure that HE was down the bottom... because by the time you had the balls to enter his domain you had to run like the clappers to get over to the tanker track on the other side before HE noticed you.  Because if he noticed you you may have well have been named after a dinner plate dish hahaha.  I'm sure he was a wild African beast reincarnated as a ram!

Once upon a time........ my younger brother and I decided to go and play with our cars over by the haybarn.  So did the usual... climb up the gate and lean over the top to see where grumpy pants was.... yep, sweet, all clear.  HE is down grazing at the bottom...choice as!  C'mon little bro, lets go...  I'm two years older than my bro but when you are talking about being about 6 or 7 then the difference is pretty big in terms of being able to hold yourself and run for your life hahaha.

So we started out to get to our destination through the paddock to the other side.... oh the other side...I wish the other side was right here right now!  You know how things just become habit and you get a bit laxed when it comes to the rules? Well, we were exactly that! Because I looked down to the right and there was Lamb Chops bolting for us, nose flaring, foaming at the mouth like a mad cow, nuts smacking this way and that! Bloody hell! RUN! RUN! RUN! By this time he was half way up and we had to just pray that we were gonna make it......

..... the gate! the gate!...nearly there.... c'mon little bro.... the gate! the gate!..... T H E    G A T E ! ! ! !  I could hear the beast.... f'dump...f'dump...f'dump...snort....snort...snort.....

My arms reached for the heavens towards the top of the gate, right leg shooting for for the stars in unison and I catapulted myself up and over. Swiftly spun round and jumped up on the gate from the safe zone to pull my brother up... my toes teetering on the bar of the gate, my body lunged over the top to pull him up! TOO LATE!!!!

The beast had got him! Little bro frantically trying to grab the top of the gate now as Lamb Chops was bunting his arse like an apple bobbing competition upside down hahahaha! His legs were flying outwards, his face distorted with fear ... but his grip was firm!  Bunt! Bunt! Bunt!  Man Lamb Chops was centered all right, my brother looked like a cartoon in a really bad place.  Then Lamb Chops may have had enough, I dunno, coz he gave this one last almighty BUNT! and my bro went flying up and scrambled over the top of the gate! Lamb Chops just went his merry way and began filling his belly again like nothing had happened.... I guess he got his reward by showing us the wrath of the beast within... putting fear into the little shits who cross his domain.

Now, I'm not a mean person or anything like that but I was rolling round on the grass laughing uncontrollably with tears in my eyes... while my brother was crying from the fear put in him! I think it was the adrenalin and now being in the safe zone type thing?  Trying to just ask if his butt was ok was an impossible task... I'd just start bloody laughing again!.... and again......and again!  Sorry bro hahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

And Lamb Chops?   Well..... lets just say  that he was aptly named.... RIP.

A Day In The Life Of Farm Kids......and a ram with big everything!