When you grow up on a farm there's bound to be some shit happening or some kind of catastrophe.
We had this awesome as motorbike that we would pretend we were stunt riders and always trying to better the other jumping bigger jumps, skidding the ass end of it out trying to do 360 degree turns. We were stunt stars... at least at home.
On one particular day I 'stole' it and put on my best gears (stonewash jeans, gumboots, black jacket, huge ass helmet and super goggles).... classy bitch I tell ya! I started off doing small jumps...I needed heaps of practice if I was going to be better than my bro... by the way it was his bike, not OUR bike haha. Hooning off like the clappers, jumping what felt like 100 feet but probably only one foot.
Ended up with my bro coming out yelling "Get off my bloody bike you bitch!", "You didn't ask! Get off!", fair enough haha. Just made me want to push the bike harder and faster! Ended up skidding out this way and that and watching my brother run at me then disappear as I boosted beyond. Took great pleasure in watching him angry and not being able to get near me... knowing full well that when I got off I just had to bloody bolt and get the hell out of there as we probably would have got into fisty cuffs haha (don't get me wrong but we were close as, but annoyed the hell out of each other and ended up in a big scene afterwards).
The time had come as I saw him turn and get the stomp on to go and tell Mum and Dad what I was doing... quick! better get off!.... bloody nark! Anyway, I had tormented him long enough and I better give the stupid bike back! It wasn't actually the tormenting him and feeling sorry for him that made me do the right thing, it was him going to see the folks and telling on me....I was a good girl!
I had to do this right! I had to some how get close enough to him and jump off the bike, turn it off (or the other way around), then run baby run so I didn't get a twack. Still smiling as I knew I had gotten into his head. Right.....ready.....NOW! Dunno why the hell I did it this way! As the bike was still going I decided I'd skid the ass end of the bike out on it's side, switch it off and run....BUT instead, I skidded out the ass end all right but forgot to put my leg down to stop me from hitting the hard ground and just skidded for Africa mate! I found myself lying underneath the bike cracking up at the whole scene.. looked up and saw my bro running like superman, not to see if I was all right, but to take advantage of the situation and probably torment me in my time of need haha!
The situation got worst and I don't care what you think, but I did something terrible that I couldn't control because I was laughing soooooo much. Which made the situation worse as he loved that thing. He came storming over, picked up the bike and saw that I had also piddled my pants, ON HIS BLOODY BIKE! Woops! hahahahaha. I actually felt stink that that's how it ended and didn't end with a spectacular finale of the best stunt exit off a motorbike... hmmmmm, maybe I needed more practice?....
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE WORLD'S WORST SISTER!
