Howdya Like dem Apples!

I get this call from a mate of mine one day to go into town (Kaikohe, Northland, New Zealand - da big smoke...not!), and hang out.  Used to just sit around, talk shit and smoke everything really.  Wasn't much of a drinker so I ended up always bloody driving with a zillion people in The Brick which was a blue mini van.  When you had 'lard asses' in the back seat it transformed into a bulldozer/grader on the unkept metal roads.  It was unreal as a 4wheel-drive too you know! Didn't need a flash wagon to take on pot holes bigger than.... god, I dunno, bigger than?..... THE PLANET!  They should make a documentary about shitty cars and those who drive them, like the tried and true, and I tell ya what!... The Brick would be featured on the show! Hmmmm, something to ponder? 

I've just realised I've really blown this car out of the water (should've literally tried that before Dad gave it to someone else! Yearh! Take that Top Gear!).  Maybe I kept it alive due to my superb driving....or maybe not?.  I never ran off the road (just graded the road as mentioned above), never dinged it and never ran the motor dry....sweet. 

And this part of the story is where The Brick meets The Cortina (Ford, say no more.  You will understand once you read it.  No apologies).  

After talking shit and being semi delinquents we decided to leave town which was about half an hour away at a stretch.  Could go on with stuff like...'faster than a speeding bullet' type crap but I won't.  Hooning along at 100km, taking the tight bends on the main road between Kaikohe and the Hokianga until we flew onto my metal road.

Hit the metal road with the same speed and skiddied the ass end out a bit... all good, sticking to road like shit to a blanket mate!  Glancing in my rear vision mirror.... 'Damn! He's hot on my  tail still!".  The Cortina trying to play with my mind, but I wasn't backing down... especially with a bloke driving the bloody thing! Stuff off! What a rush!

Foot to the floor, taking the bends like a trooper and perfectly drifting around each one.  Bit slippery from the rain but all good brotha!  Getting distance between me and this, this.....THIS FORD! Sure, he might not have mastered the road quite like I had, as I drove it nearly every day hahaha.I got so wrapped up in the moment that I got all the way home and he wasn't behind me!  Waited....waited....waited. 

When I drove back to see where the hell he was I actually felt real bummed for my mate who was sitting next to his car scratching his head wondering how the hell he was gonna get his shitty wheels out of the ditch!  Was even worse when Dad had to get the tractor to pull him out.....'Shame bro! You let a girl waste you...In a mini!'.  Red faced and defeated was he (hehe).  I swore I wouldn't tell any of the boys what he did that day and didn't for years up until a year ago.  Y'know the unwritten law of boy vs girl, anything vs a Ford, I think they call it bully tactics really hahaha!  Every time I saw him I would crack up AT him, and go over and over it just for fun.  Had to keep reminding him that the only reason he was beaten was because of his car, not the fact that I'd been driving for years on the farm and that my folks were stock car drivers, god no! Had nothing to do with it...

Another Day In The Life of Anything vs Fords 

PS (just a little friendly banter with any Ford lover out there... you know how it goes...trying to avoid hate mail and death threats ok?)