DON'T READ IF YOU ARE OFFENDED REGARDING FARM ANIMAL SLAUGHTER! IT'S THE WAY IT IS/WAS OK?!
It was a sparkling day with the sun beaming through the old wooden windows after my eyes opened from a wondrous deep sleep. Thinking to myself "I wonder what I should do today?". Being only a little tyke the farm was my playground. BUT.... today was not one of those rosey days by a long shot, it was more like a bleak droning echo in the frontal lobes of my head! I will tell you why..
Dad had his mates around for a few beers. They were a hard-case looking bunch.. thick 70's moustaches, hair roughed up and un-brushed, mostly down to their shoulders, no shirts and short as stubby shorts. We always went off and did our thing hooning on our BMX's pretending they were Mustangs and the like... brrrrraaaaa brrrrrrraaaaaa brrrrrrrrrraaaaaa!
On this particular day we ended up playing in the old stock car out in the house paddock... had a few old car bodies laid to rest next to the fence. 'I'm gonna be a race car driver man! I'm gonna waste everybody! Eat my dust!', which hasn't changed much but I get a speeding fine instead these days!
I remember looking out and seeing Dad and his mates standing there with big sharp looking things. Hmmmm? What are they doing? We stopped racing and attentively watched the grown ups standing around laughing their tits off about something? But what? Confusion set in until the most insane memory I have ever had appeared right before my very eyes!.... BLOODY HELL! Speechless..... still speechless............
From out of nowhere these strange lookin' birds came racing around the corner of the shed.. and I mean racing like I've never seen anything run before! Huh? Are those our wild chooks? Us kids looked at each other with confusion written all over our faces as everything seemed surreal and unusually bizarre. A sight never seen with these young eyes anyway! We pulled ourselves out of the stock car window like the Dukes of Hazard and stood up on the roof, that's when it finally hit us! They were fuckin headless chickens! Wild chooks racing around with no heads! It was if they could see everything as they would dart this way and that avoiding any obstacle in their path! Didn't help with them being white which makes the whole vision that more barbaric and brutal!
Aaaaaaarghhhhhhhh! Aaaaaarghhhhhhhh! Screaming our tits off now as the images finally sunk in as to what was going down on the farm today! Am I still dreaming? Must be... if I close my eyes this will go away! Hands over my face then preening out of one eye between the cracks in my fingers.. no, still there! I was hoping the crazy chooks wouldn't race anywhere near the stock car (our sanctuary) as they were bloody scary and erratic. But they always seemed to make a b-line for us as if they could smell something else's fear! After the numbness passed I could hear laughter and cheering from down the paddock where Dads mates were. You see we had 100's of wild chooks on our farm that got into everything.. they were pests ok. And people thought different back in the late 70's early 80's in the middle of nowhere. It was a time of UNpc and wild times for most. So you have to understand about farmers in the boondocks back then mate. Crazy years I tell ya...
.....and that farmers had it tough aye! So this was them letting off some steam and putting food on the table, but next time I would much prefer not to see my dinner racing around a paddock like that ever again. It just damn well wasn't right! It was the way it was down on the farm as....
A Day In The Life Of A Stunned Mullett.
8 comments:
You have done it again and I see more people are commenting! I hope you get discovered as such as you are a fantastic writer. Thanks for the monthly read yet again!
At least we stuck them in a bin and had a laugh if the bin fell over and the chook rolled out kicking.
It was the plucking, and gutting that was the reality check to the fact that maybe fruit and veg are a damn sight more pleasant and easy to consume
Thanks for the read and I like this site very much.
This site is great! Never seen a blog like it! good work and love the stories! You sound like a very interesting person.. in a good way! Keep it up.
WIIIIIICKED sis! Love it, cos it's burned on my frontal lobe from when I was a kid too - they even flew when they got thrown up in the air!
This is an amazing blog.. one of the better ones i have seen.. good work and great stories. Will come back and look at the rest. Well done!
WOW!Can't say I've ever seen that in my lifetime and I've seen a lot of things. The warning made me want to read it! Thanks for a great read.
I remember the boys down my street...a suburban street in Adelaide... pranked me one day. They invited me over, knowing I'd enter via their back gate. Only to walk into the path of... 6 headless chooks running around in circles! Argh, my horror...and their laughter. Little buggers! Thanks for the memories.
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